


You're Beautiful

by Kayleen756894



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Feels, BUT I LOVE THEM, Brief thoughts of suicide, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Rare Pairings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-03 07:10:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11527152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kayleen756894/pseuds/Kayleen756894
Summary: “So now, Jessica Riley, I want you to look deeply into my eyes so you can understand exactly how I see you. Forget the mirror on the wall. My eyes are your new mirror, okay? Because the way I see you, what I want you to see reflected back to you, is the only image of you that exists and the only one you should believe.” Sam x Jess, set a month after the events of the game.





	You're Beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> Welp I've loved Until Dawn for a long time now but it was only recently I go so inspired to dive into rarepair hell here. Sam and Jess are my favourite characters in the game for a lot of reasons and despite their limited interaction in the game, I could them being much closer afterwards and really helping each other heal. To me Jess was such a fighter but she left that night equally as mentally scarred as she was physical, and as she relied so much on her appearance I could see this mutilation of her body really destroying her. I wanted to explore that anxiety and those negative feelings but also show that with someone like Sam by your side, someone who understands you, those feelings can be overcome and transformed.
> 
> ... I just really love Sam x Jess and wanted to give them some angst and fluffy feels. So that's what this is.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing of Until Dawn! This fic was written for entertainment purposes only!
> 
> Enjoy everyone! Would love to see your comments! :)

Jessica spent an unknown amount of time just staring at the water enveloping her from the neck down, barely able to recognize the beautiful purple shade or soothing lilac scent. The bath bomb was necessary. She used to love lounging in the bath until her parents would yell at her to get out, but now she refused to take one without a bath bomb because it would prevent her from seeing her body through the water.

She didn’t want to see herself.

Didn’t want to see the scars that marked her as a survivor of the Blackwood Lodge; didn’t want to see reminders that would transport her consciousness back to those cold, damp, suffocating mines, filled with horrors and isolation and death.

Death that could have gripped her very last breath.

She faintly noticed that the hot water had decreased to cold a long time ago but that didn’t motivate her to leave the bathtub. She was safe here. She could lay in this tub in peace, whether her head remained above the water or not.

Jessica thought about that sometimes. That was a lie. She hated lying. It had been a month since the lodge exploded, hopefully taking all the Wendigos with it, and not a day had gone by that she hadn’t wanted to end the torment still swirling in her jumbled mind. She’d give anything to unsee all those horrible things; do anything to undo the prank on Hannah she had planned that made this whole mess happen in the first place.

It was her fault. All of it. She didn’t admit that to her friends but she didn’t need to because she knew they already knew. That was probably why none of them talked to her anymore.

“Jess?” There was a soft voice followed by an equally soft knock on the bathroom door. “It’s been an hour. You doing okay in there?”

Well, almost none of them.

Sam stayed. Jessica had been living with Sam ever since those awful events because she couldn’t handle doctors and therapists and, even worse, her parents, prodding her and questioning her every second of every day at home. Nothing topped the overwhelming loneliness, though. She could be in a room full of people but she wouldn’t see them and they wouldn’t see her. Jessica would see blank faces, dark faces, or the faces of Hannah and Beth which were the worst of all. And the ones staring back at her wouldn’t see Jessica Riley anymore.

All they would see were her scars. A broken girl with a broken body. Jessica Riley didn’t exist to them anymore and, honestly, she didn’t even really exist to herself. A large part of her was still trapped on that unholy mountain.

But the part of her that could still be salvaged was here with Sam; someone she couldn’t even call a genuine friend until after the incident, and now this girl was the only reason she was still living. Sam was relief. Sam was her angel.

Sam was home.

Another knock. “Can you hear me, Jess? Can I come in?” Sam asked. She sounded tired and slightly worried. The worry made sense. It was one of the only things that still made sense.

Jessica would be worried too if Sam thought about ending her life every day. She better never fucking do that. Sam made all of Jessica’s suffering worth it.

“Yeah,” Jessica replied quietly but she knew Sam had heard her. She didn’t use her voice much anymore. Why would she need to? Who was worth talking to? What value could the words of the shell of Jessica Riley possibly have?

Jessica shook her head and reminded herself that Sam liked hearing her voice. That’s all that mattered.

“One minute,” Jessica continued, draining the cold purple water from the bathtub. She stood quickly, goosebumps coating her wet skin once exposed to the chilly air, and tied an extra long white towel around her body until only her head, shoulders and feet could be seen. She didn’t want to see her body and the ugly, grotesque scars that had been painted on what was originally a beautiful blank canvas. She didn’t want to see it and, honestly, was self-conscious of Sam seeing her, too.

Jessica Riley didn’t know the meaning of the word shy a month ago and now even the thought of her only friend seeing her ruined figure made her stomach drop.

Some days she really fucking hated herself.

Cringing and swallowing the bile that had risen in her throat, Jessica announced, “Okay, I’m good.”

There was a beat of silence before Sam slowly swung open the door, revealing the darkness that bathed the house in comparison to the bright light spilling from the bathroom. Sam’s hair was out of its signature bun, the light blonde strands brushing past her shoulders. She was already in her pyjamas, consisting of an oversized red T-shirt and grey boy shorts. She looked so pretty and adorable and sleepy.

And more worried than she originally sounded.

After the click of the door shutting behind her, Sam stated, “You covered the mirror again.”

It wasn’t a question. Jessica didn’t even glance at the mentioned object. Even more than the ones on her body, Jessica hated the scars that marred her face. There were so many and they were still so dark and Jessica knew they would never go away. For the rest of her life people would look at her scars before they met her eyes. Her injuries, her past, would be acknowledged before she would be.

She refused to acknowledge the scars herself. It had become a habit by now to block the mirror with a towel or cloth or anything else so that she couldn’t see her face. She didn’t need to anymore. She didn’t need to worry about fixing her hair or applying her makeup or cleaning her face.

She would never be beautiful again.

“Does that surprise you?” Jessica countered. Her words were fierce but her voice lacked so much of the spark and sass it used to command. Now it was just empty, making her words monotone by consequence.

Sam just looked at her sadly, not offering a verbal reply. She didn’t need to.

“Nothing I would have seen in that mirror would have been worth looking at,” Jessica continued. She wasn’t sure why she kept speaking. Either she said nothing at all or said way too much which fucking sucked because she usually ended up hurting or worrying Sam either way.

Sam frowned gently, moving to stand directly in front of Jessica. “Then what is worth looking at?” Sam asked.

“You.”

One thing that had not changed about Jessica was her blunt honesty. Even though she didn’t say much anymore, her frank responses would burst forth like a rockslide if she were asked a direct question. Although she didn’t exactly plan on saying that, it was true and Jessica didn’t regret it for a moment. She wasn’t afraid to admit it; anyone with working eyes could see how attractive Sam was as a person and how appealing she was to look at in general, especially when the reflection one would see in the mirror looked like shit in comparison.

It was only when she saw Sam blush that Jessica felt her heartbeat increase. For once Jessica’s blood wasn’t pumping from fear and anxiety, but rather because the girl in front of her was so incredibly beautiful that Jessica’s body couldn’t help but react to her. It was an unconscious and uncontrollable feeling, much like fear and anxiety, but in this moment Jessica was completely okay with losing herself to something she couldn’t fight.

“Okay,” Sam sighed gently. The blonde’s expression was a little hard to read but her cheeks were still a delightful pink. Sam motioned for Jessica to sit on the edge of the bathtub and the scarred girl complied. Then Sam plugged in the hairdryer and stood so close that Jessica couldn’t see anything else except the girl in front of her. “Then forget about the mirror and just look at me.”

Those words made Jessica’s mouth go dry. Even if she wanted to reply it would have been pointless now that Sam had turned the hairdryer on and was applying the hot, soothing channel of air on her sopping wet blonde tresses. Her hair was so thin and dull compared to the thick, wavy golden mane she used to sport.

But the Jessica Riley who owned that hair no longer existed.

Jessica didn’t want to keep thinking of those things, especially when Sam was here. And with Sam in the room, and so close to her, Jessica was granted with the best, and only, distraction, so Jessica occupied herself by staring directly at her. Not just because Sam kinda asked her to—that left a strange, tingly feeling in her belly that she hadn’t felt in a long time—but because Jessica wanted to take her time admiring Sam. Time was all she had now and there was no better way to spend it than on Sam, in some shape or form.

Sam was also still haunted by both those nights a month ago and a year ago, respectively. Both of them were so fucking devastated, but unlike Jessica, Sam was able to conceal it. The truth of Sam’s feelings were right under the surface but defended by a thick layer of steel; strangers would never know the depth of Sam’s pain, her knowledge, her loss, her strength, but Jessica could see it all. She could see everything Sam tried to hide because she felt all of those things, too.

No one else except those who were there could possibly understand what they went through and how much fucking willpower it took to push forward from that.

Sam still had some bruises and swelling and scars from that night, but none as noticeable as Jessica’s. Sam’s bruises would fade and her scars would become dulled white streaks while Jessica’s remained dark and large and ready to open again if she wasn’t careful.

Sam repositioned herself so she could reach more of Jessica’s hair, gently tilting the girl’s chin with two fingers in the direction she needed her to face. The air was hot on Jessica’s ears and neck and scalp but the skin Sam touched directly burned much more pleasantly. Sam wasn’t looking at her, too focussed on her task, and Jessica took this opportunity to stare into Sam’s eyes shamelessly.

They were a brilliant hazel but didn’t shine as brightly as they used to. They were filled with too much pain now. Too much loss. But there was also strength in those eyes that didn’t exist when the brightness did. Jessica would even go so far as to call it a divine strength because Sam was a blessed human being and Jessica was blessed to be under her angelic wing.

It was so fucking unfair that such an admirable trait could only be birthed from something so terrible.

Sometimes Jessica had to remind herself that she wasn’t the only one affected by what happened. All of her friends were traumatized and that included Sam as well. The girl was just so damn good at hiding it when she comforted Jessica that the aspiring model forgot how much Sam was suffering, too. At least Jessica pretended that was the reason. She was selfish to the core and she knew it. She needed Sam’s comfort and affection, desperately yearned for it, but when had she ever offered the same type of support for Sam who probably needed it as well, even if that need was less obvious?

Jess never offered to help. Not once. She was too caught up in her own misery, her own horror, her own loneliness, to ever fully acknowledge that the only one who had chosen to stay in her life was haunted by all those demons as well. Sometimes awful thoughts like _I have it worse than her, I deserve support more than her_ would poison Jessica’s mind and she would hate herself and cry in Sam’s arms. Those thoughts came from a dark place, a place as dark as those horrible, damp mines, and she never truly meant them because Sam deserved everything good in this fucked up world, but sometimes those horrible thoughts would just overtake her and prove once again that Jessica probably didn’t deserve to make it out of those mines.

Now Jessica was as ugly on the outside as she was on the inside.

“You know,” Sam began gently, just loud enough to hear over the hairdryer, as if she knew her voice would grind Jessica’s self-hatred and guilt into the ground, “eyes are kind of like mirrors.” Sam still wasn’t looking at her, too focussed on nursing Jessica’s locks, but Jessica suddenly found she couldn’t look anywhere else but Sam’s flickering, hazel depths. Sam continued as if in a daze, “They’re like the reflections of one’s soul. Through someone’s eyes you can tell how they really feel and can also tell how they feel about other people. If you really look deep into someone’s eyes you can tell exactly how they see you, even if it’s different than how you see yourself.”

Sam shut off the hairdryer and unplugged it, leaving it on the marble vanity. The blonde turned back and tidied up Jessica’s wild strands with caring strokes of her fingers. She was so close that Jessica could feel Sam’s breath but couldn’t feel her own.

“So now, Jessica Riley,” Sam murmured warmly but firmly, providing no room for sarcastic remarks or pointless arguments, “I want you to look deeply into my eyes so you can understand exactly how I see you. Forget the mirror on the wall. My eyes are your new mirror, okay? Because the way I see you, what I want you to see reflected back to you, is the only image of you that exists and the only one you should believe. That mirror on the wall has been making you feel ugly, like a stranger in your own body, like a ghost in a shell that shouldn’t be there, but you need to stop seeing yourself that way because...”

Sam gulped and bit her trembling lips. Her eyes were shimmering. Soft, callused hands cupped Jessica’s cheeks, avoiding irritating her scars and holding her in place so she couldn’t look anywhere but up into Sam’s vulnerable, welcoming eyes.

“... You are so beautiful, Jess. You’re beautiful, and you’re brave, and you’re strong, and you’re _alive_. And it hurts so bad knowing that sometimes you don’t think you’re any of those things. But to me you are all of those things all the time and I would have lost myself a long time ago if you weren’t here with me. So please don’t say you’re not worth looking at, because every time I look at you I’m reminded that life is precious and worth living, both yours and mine, and that you make my life _better_.”

Given how much Jessica had cried over the past month she thought it would be impossible for her to cry anymore, but sure enough she felt some of the pesky droplets leak out of the corners of her eyes. She barely even noticed them honestly, but she definitely noticed how Sam wiped them away without a shred of pity. Only sympathy and compassion and... maybe something else.

That would be too much to hope for, and way more than Jessica deserved.

Jessica parted her lips to reply but found she had nothing to say. She didn’t know how to respond to such praise. She’d always been insecure even before that dreadful night and now those insecurities were through the roof so she wasn’t actually sure how to handle such heartfelt comments from someone whose opinion mattered even more than her own. Sam saw Jessica the exact opposite of how she saw herself and... how was she supposed to take that? How was it possible for two opinions of the same person to be so different?

But Sam had always been the smart one between the two of them. She thought before she spoke and planned out her actions before making them. She considered everyone’s feelings and the consequences of every choice while Jessica usually just winged it and hoped for the best. Because of all that, it would be logical to accept Sam’s words and try to apply them to her own mindset.

But it made no sense that someone as amazing as Sam could look at someone as pitiful as Jessica like she was a beacon in the darkness. There’s no way Sam could see Jessica the same way Jessica saw her. Jessica wasn’t a hero. Not like Sam.

“That’s impossible. I’m not like you,” Jessica disagreed, shaking her head slowly. She kept staring at Sam, trying to find any trace of deceit or mockery, but all she saw was fossilized truth. Jessica’s eyebrows furrowed as confusion and wonder overtook her. “So why did you just describe me the same way I would have described you?”

Sam’s cheeks lit up again and she ducked her head briefly before lifting it; an attempt to hide her embarrassment before remembering she didn’t need to. Not around Jess. Never around Jess.

“Because I’ve seen in your eyes the way you see me,” Sam explained warmly, stroking Jessica’s cheeks. Hazel eyes flickered between twin seas of green. “I see it reflecting back to me even right now. At first I couldn’t even imagine being thought of so highly by someone, but then I realized you probably had the same disbelief about yourself. And I need you to know the truth, that we mean the same thing to each other, because every time you think of me as your hero I need you to know that at the same time, I think of you as mine.”

And just like that, for a moment, Jessica forgot all about that night. She forgot about the lodge, the guest cabin, the creature that dragged her from it and the horrible mines those claws dragged her to. She forgot about her scars, her anxiety, her loneliness, her self-hatred and self-guilt. Somehow everything negative in her life just vanished, like it was unimportant in comparison to the person in front of her.

At that moment, all that mattered was Sam; the only person that chose to stay with her and who could nullify all the bad images and bad sounds and bad thoughts.

Jess loved her.

Still clad in only a towel, Jessica allowed Sam to gently guide her by the hand back to their room. It was originally Sam’s room but at this point Jessica practically lived there, too, because she couldn’t sleep alone without being tormented by night terrors and waking up in a cold sweat.

Sam made all the bad things go away. Even if only briefly.

It was dark in the room, the only source of light coming from the moonlight via the open-curtained window above Sam’s queen sized bed in the corner of the room. Jess had been in here enough times to remember the environmental paintings on Sam’s walls and the little animal themed figures and knickknacks scattered on Sam’s desk, even if she couldn’t see them clearly now. It was fairly clean, as expected of Sam, other than a few stuffed animals and one of Jessica’s sweaters on the carpet. Sam shut the door behind them and didn’t bother turning on the lamp, content with the natural light provided.

“Let me see if I can find your pyjamas,” Sam murmured, speaking more to herself than to Jess as she began rummaging through her closet that had become much more cluttered since Jessica began sharing the space. Jessica watched Sam busy herself for a few moments and couldn’t help but wonder about her own feelings for Sam, about their current relationship, what that relationship could even be classified as, and about how she should be thankful she had what she did with Sam and shouldn’t bother thinking of something that could never happen.

“Y’know,” Jessica began before truly accepting her saddening thoughts, earning Sam’s attention even though the blonde didn’t look up from her task, the workaholic as always, “if I had been in this situation a month ago—alone with a beautiful woman in her room while wearing only a towel—I probably would have tried to seduce her. Seducing you, Sam, would have been my proudest moment.” Any chirp in Jessica’s tone fell along with her gaze that was now on the beige carpet below. “Now I don’t even have the chance to try.”

Sam was looking directly at her now with confusion and distress swimming rapidly in her eyes. Pyjamas forgotten, Sam walked over to Jessica who stood by the large bed. “Jess, what are you talking about?” Sam asked gently. Her tone wasn’t accusing or derogatory; merely concerned.

“My body was all I had going for me. I’ve always been so insecure about so many things but at least I was hot and I could use that to get what I wanted. That sounds awful, I know, but it was a safeguard and it comforted me. It made me feel like I was good at something and people had a reason to like me. But now,” Jessica heaved a dry chuckle, “what do I have _now_? Who would want to be seen with me when I look like this? Who could possibly like me when I look like this? I have nothing going for me. The one thing I did have has been torn away from me and now my shitty personality matches my shitty body and...” Jessica sniffed, hugging her shell of a body. “... I’m never going to get better, am I?”

“Honey, no. Shh,” Sam soothed, gathering Jessica in her arms immediately. Jess was met with light floral perfume and the warm tingles of Sam’s breath on her ear. “Don’t say that. Please don’t say that. You’re hurting. You’re healing. There’s nothing wrong with you.”

“Everything’s wrong with me. We both know that.” Jessica buried her face into Sam’s shoulder. “I’m hideous. I can’t even look at myself anymore. I don’t want to see the scars and I don’t want anyone else to see the scars. I’m scared even for you to see them even though I know that’s stupid ‘cause you’ve already seen all the ones on my face. You have your scars, too, and I know you wouldn’t judge me but it’s a fucking stupid fear and I’m ashamed and I _fucking_ hate it. The one thing that gave me strength is now a weakness and it’s fucked up everything for me.”

Sam held her tighter and for a moment she said nothing. Sam was so warm, so amazingly warm, yet Jessica couldn’t stop the shivers that wracked her body. She was trembling so hard she couldn’t even raise her arms to hug Sam back; instead just limping against her like dead weight. Jess felt like she had no control of her body and debated if she even wanted control of such a thing.

Luckily for her Sam was here, and Sam always knew when she needed support the most.

Sam pulled back but only slightly; their chests still brushed as they breathed, and Jess could still feel warm puffs of air against her face. Sam’s arms were still wrapped around her, hands splayed on Jessica’s lower back and gently palming the soft material of the towel.

Then those hands started to rise, inching towards Jessica’s upper back and shoulders which had bare skin—and scars—on full display.

Jess felt herself freeze and hated herself a moment after, because Sam’s hands also stopped moving and Sam’s eyes were filled with concern and a genuine desire to try and make things better; to try and reassure Jessica that everything would be okay. And Jess wanted to believe her and wanted to give Sam that chance to prove it. So why was she freezing? Why was she scared? She knew Sam wouldn’t judge her. She knew Sam wouldn’t hurt her. Out of everyone on the entire planet, there was no one she trusted more than Sam.

If Jessica couldn’t even give Sam this chance, how could she ever hope for the chance to escape her own misery?

Sam slowly pulled her hands away but Jess was quick to catch her wrists, guiding Sam’s hands back to their original location. Sam’s eyes were wide and shining as they searched Jessica’s, wanting to be absolutely sure of Jessica’s consent and mental stability. She was so sweet. She was the best thing that would ever happen to Jessica and it was conflicting to think about how Jess may never have gotten to know Sam on this level without the existence of that horrible night.

Butterfly effect. It was a beautiful, fucked up thing.

Jess took a moment to let her pounding heart relax; with how close they were, Sam could probably feel it anyway. Looking into Sam’s eyes didn’t help much. That just made her heart pound for an entirely different reason.

But her heart pounding proved she was still alive. Sam proved she was still alive.

Jess nodded to Sam, saying nonverbally that she was okay, but Sam still waited a few more precious seconds before lifting her hands again, hovering just above Jessica’s shoulders scattered with large, sealed gashes. It was obvious that Sam could already see them but having Sam directly touch them, directly acknowledge them, was entirely different and they both knew it.

Jess bit her lip, nervous. It was irrational to think that a single touch could transport her back to that night; a night where Sam wasn’t there to save her. It was irrational to think that a single touch would hurt like how it hurt when she received the scars. It was irrational to think that Sam’s fingers would feel like a Wendigo’s claws.

Jess needed a distraction so her stupid thoughts that would drive Sam away would leave her alone.

The aspiring model caught sight of a scar, thin but long, just below Sam’s collarbone, visible thanks to the scooped collar. Jess didn’t think of how Sam might have gotten it because she didn’t want to imagine Sam being in any pain.

Would Sam be in pain if Jess touched it?

Jess reached up, one hand clutching Sam’s T-shirt at the front while the other floated above that scar, trembling but ready. When Jess was finally brave enough to meet Sam’s gaze again the other blonde was smiling warmly at her like an invitation. Sam nodded, seeming to know that Jessica needed this.

Jessica gulped, clutching onto Sam a little tighter, before both of them brushed the other’s scars.

Jess shivered, but she wasn’t sure which feeling made her body react more intimately; touching where Sam had been hurt that night, hoping she could heal it somehow, or knowing Sam was caressing her own injuries and wishing the same. Those fingers were so warm and gentle with her that Jessica felt like she was melting. Her knees felt like jelly and she worried that she would have fallen to the floor had she not been grasping onto Sam like a lifeline.

Both of them were there that night. Both of them had scars to prove it. They hurt together and they were healing together, little by little.

“Now you listen to me, Jessica Riley,” Sam began, firmly but gently. She moved on to a scar on Jessica’s neck, a fingertip ghosting its length until she reached the scars that painted Jessica’s face. “Everything I see in front of me is beautiful. These scars can’t possibly take your beauty away because these prove that you’re a fighter. They prove that you’ve gone through something unimaginable but you survived. They prove that nothing can stop you from getting what you want in life. And Jessica Riley doesn’t let anything stop her, right?”

Jessica couldn’t stop a small giggle which made Sam’s smile become brighter than the moon shining its beams in through their window, transforming Sam’s skin into wondrous, ghostly porcelain that made Jessica’s whole body tremble.

“And every time I see these scars I’m reminded that you are the strongest and the bravest person I’ve ever met,” Sam held her face tenderly, resting their foreheads together as her thumbs caressed the final scars on Jessica’s face, “and there is _nothing_ ugly about that.”

Jess didn’t realize her eyes had welled with tears until one fell, and when it left Jessica’s eye, left her body, left her soul, so did so much of the pain and torment that haunted her since that night. Suddenly the world wasn’t so dark. Suddenly she didn’t hurt as much. Suddenly her scars weren’t ugly anymore.

Suddenly Jessica Riley was beautiful again, all thanks to the nonstop efforts of the even more beautiful person in front of her.

The next thing Jess knew Sam was kissing her and Jess took a shaky breath with trembling lips before kissing this woman back with every ounce of strength she had. She sobbed into Sam’s mouth and tugged at her shirt to pull her impossibly closer, wanting to feel Sam’s heartbeat against hers, needing to feel all of Sam’s comfort she was willing to provide.

Sam held her so gently, keeping their kisses slow and intimate and meaningful. A hand left Jessica’s cheek to bury into her blonde locks, fingers running through her hair, keeping her grounded. Every part of Jessica felt like it was coming back to life once again, bursting so abruptly and fully that without Sam to keep her still Jess wouldn’t have been able to handle so much of the feeling. The warmth that spread in her chest, the butterflies in her belly, the blush in her cheeks, and, most importantly, the clarity in her mind; it was all too much at once but at the same time it was exactly what Jessica had needed for so long.

Their kisses soon became heated and Jessica backed up against the bed, lying on it and pulling Sam down with her. Sam’s loose, golden hair curtained Jessica’s face as they embraced and their lips interlocked, shielding her from the rest of the world. Jess wrapped her legs around Sam’s waist, keeping Sam exactly where she wanted her.

Sam pulled back for a moment, cheeks flushed and lips swollen and beautiful hazel eyes shiny and brimming with affection. And Jess couldn’t help it.

She cried.

She cried until her eyes were red and her throat was dry and her cheeks were layered with salt because nothing she ever did in this world would make her deserving of this woman, and she couldn’t believe she ever doubted Sam’s care for her.

Sam held her the whole time, rolling to the side so Jess could cry on her shoulder. The athletic blonde whispered sweet nothings into her ear for awhile, eventually switching to humming a soft lullaby. After about ten minutes, Jess felt fulfilled and emotionally exhausted and wanted nothing more than to fall asleep in the arms of the woman she loved. Just like she had for the past month.

But this time it would be a little different.

“Can you take off my towel?”

The request was barely louder than a whisper but Sam definitely heard it, her hazel eyes widening. Sam frowned gently and shook her head.

“Jess,” Sam started quietly, “you’re really emotionally vulnerable right now and I wouldn’t...”

“I know. Not for that. I’ve always liked sleeping naked but haven’t ever since... the scars.” It felt scary, but right, to finally acknowledge them so openly; to finally allow her mental wounds to breathe and scab over just like her physical ones. “But now... I just want you to see them. I trust you. I want them to be seen so I can finally be myself again.”

Sam stared at her for a long time, eyes flickering back and forth between Jessica’s as she debated the request, clearly searching for any form of doubt or confusion or misinterpretation.  A few minutes past by that felt much longer than that and Jess began to wonder if Sam would agree.

And then Sam displayed an understanding smile, leaning over to leave a lingering kiss on Jessica’s forehead, a display of affection no one had ever given Jessica before and it made her feel so safe and so loved. Then expert hands carefully unwrapped the towel from her body, leaving her figure to glow under the moonlight beaming in from the window as the towel was thrown aside and quickly forgotten.

Sam’s eyes roamed her in a way that both made Jessica blush and want to cry again; many people had admired her body before but no one had ever looked at her like she was what made them want to wake up in the morning. It wasn’t a gaze filled with lust or envy or desire but rather of admiration, of joy, of understanding; a gaze that noticed the multitudes of scars sliced over her chest and belly but rather than seeing them as something to alienate, they were seen as something to appreciate and love.

Then Sam looked directly into Jessica’s eyes. “You’re beautiful.”

Jessica’s heart pounded soundly against her ribcage and she bit her lower lip to contain another sob. How could two words make her feel so special? How could someone put so much genuine affection in to just two words? How could Jessica ever be worthy of those two words?

She wasn’t quite sure yet. She didn’t really believe in those words yet, not to the intensity they were being used. But Jessica believed that Sam believed, and that was enough for her.

Jessica’s gaze flickered down to Sam’s lips and the athletic blonde got the picture, leaning in to give Jessica another sweet kiss, proving that Jessica didn’t just hallucinate the breathtaking moment that occurred between them earlier. When Sam pulled back she gave a dazzling smile that made goosebumps travel up and down Jessica’s arms. Sam reached down and pulled the thick blankets up to cover both of them, the warmth providing comfort to Jessica’s naked body.

Not that she would need blankets for that.

Jess smiled at Sam before turning on her side, backing up until her back was touching Sam’s front, and the other girl was quick to curl around her and loosely wrap an arm around Jessica’s middle. Sam’s breath was warm and gently tickled the back of her neck. Sam lazily stoked Jessica’s abdomen, fingertips gently tracing and healing any scar she deciphered. Jess sighed gently, covering Sam’s hand with her own.

Jess had never felt so safe and so valid and so appreciated in her whole life and already knew this was going to be the best sleep she had had in so long. She was so blissfully tired and could already feel her eyelids drooping. Sam’s breathing was starting to even and Jess gained even more comfort in knowing that Sam felt just as safe next to her as Jess did.

Jessica squeezed Sam’s hand gently, relishing in the lazy stroke of Sam’s thumb in return.

Jess knew her trauma hadn’t left her. Not fully, anyway, and maybe it never would. The nightmares would still come and sometimes she would wake up screaming and sometimes she would hallucinate she was somewhere she would thankfully never physically be again. There were some days she knew she would still hit the lowest of the low.

But Sam would be there to pick her back up.

And from now on, she would be there for Sam, too.

It was a pain they shared together and could only be beaten together.

They would always have their scars, but it was their scars that brought them together and would keep them together no matter what the future threw at them. And in the future, any time Sam was haunted by her own demons and self-guilt and self-hatred, Jess knew exactly what she would say to make her feel better, because it was these same words, said to her by the woman she loved, that saved her life and made her feel happy to be herself again:

“You’re beautiful.”


End file.
